The CROSSroads: Personal Lessons from Mark's Gospel by Rev. Mitch Schultz

Updated
2001-05-26; 14:34:24utc

Lesson Forty-Five: NOT ALONE (Mark 14:32-42)

"They did not know what to say." (vs.39)

Yesterday our family faced the overwhelming realization that or son Travis, outside of God's intervention, might have only some months to live. The surgeon who met with us earlier that day was tender but firm in telling us there was nothing further that could be done for Travis. Travis' tumor has begun to expand further into the brain stem and will in time begin to shut down his system.

My wife and I sat on our swinging bench facing the driveway absorbing all that this meant. Wiping tears from our eyes I looked up to see car pulling into the driveway. As it came to a stop our daughter and youngest son ran toward us. They knew something was not right. My daughter, Breanna, sat on my lap and asked how it had gone that day. Not well, I told her. Travis' symptoms will get worse because the tumor is growing again. Brett our five-year-old asked if this meant Travis will die. Yes, I replied, Travis will die unless Jesus changes what is happening in his body.

We all wept together on that swinging bench and for some minutes just held each other. I was touched to see a nine year old and a five year old so full of emotion and able to cry so easily. This will help them. Then, with tears streaming down my face and with a heavy lump in my throat, I looked at each of them and together we pledged to each other that we would face this. We will be a happy family I told them. And we will serve Jesus together. God will use this pain to achieve what he wants and we want to be exactly the family that he wants. We then prayed together and the kids ran into the house to find Travis.

Coming to this section in Mark's gospel has given me a surge of courage. I find myself standing here longer than I have anywhere on this journey with Christ to the cross. This section records the loneliest and most agonizing moment in the life of our Lord Jesus. All sufferers, anyone faced with illness or loss, need to come here to the garden and allow the tears of Jesus to wash the pain.

The Lord Jesus needed to be at the Garden of Gethsemane to pray. His heart was heavy and he needed a place to pour out his pain to his father. He takes his closest three friends with him so that they might support him in this moment of human agony. Mark picks up the mood with such a vivid phrase; "He began to be deeply distressed and troubled." (vs.33). The presence of Peter, James and John allows Jesus to share the depth of his pain. He tells them, "my soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death." (vs.34)

The presence of the three friends with Jesus was valuable but we find that it was insufficient. There was something about all this that the disciples could not fully share and Jesus would have to carry it alone. He asks of them that they might stay where they are and "keep watch", or pray with him and, no doubt, for him. He goes further ahead as though to suggest that the full agony of this moment is one that he can only experience on his own. The weight of his burden is so heavy, Mark explains, that Jesus fell to the ground. (vs.35) There in this posture of helplessness he speaks to his father and if there could be some way out of this and still accomplish God's purpose, then at that moment that is what he would prefer. "Take this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will." (vs.36)

Years ago, I completely surrendered my life to the Lord Jesus Christ and in doing so gave him the right to do whatever he wanted with me and through me. I have, in that time, also dedicated my children to God and accepted that they too are his to do as he wants. In these last months I have agonized over my son's illness and have cried out to God that if there could be some other way for him to accomplish his purposes, then right now that is what I would prefer. My cry is an echo from the Garden of Gethsemane. "O God, is there not some other way for you to do what you have in mind? Does it have to involve the sickness and possible death of my son? O Lord, could you not take this cup from me? I plead with you Lord that it would be another way. But Lord, not my will but yours, is what I ultimately want to subject myself to!" You see, we endure pain and the worst trial when we accept that this particular trial is necessary for God to achieve what he has in mind. Hebrews 12:2 tells us that Jesus "for the joy set before him endured the cross scorning its shame" because he accepted that it was the only way for God to carry out his purpose of bringing salvation to mankind.

Jesus returns perhaps to share with his disciples his new found courage but he finds them sleeping. Disappointed with them he again returns to be alone with his father. He pours out his heart again to the one whom "does not sleep or slumber." (Psalm 121:4). It is Abba Father who lifts from Jesus the unbearable pain of what he must go through. Christ now has the courage to face the cross.

Finding the disciples sleeping again, Jesus with perhaps a sigh of disappointment says, "enough, the hour has come." (vs.41) The word enough to some commentators, implies "it is settled", "the matter is dealt with". Jesus has come to terms with what he must go through and he is ready for it. In that moment of solitary outpouring of pain through prayer, God has granted him the grace to face what was now inevitable.

Those of you who have suffered know that there is only place where that grace to endure can be received. That deep well belongs to our Abba father and what he provides can only come in solitary moments where we have poured out our agony before him.

I am overwhelmed with the support and presence of so many that have stayed awake and are watching with us. In this trial, I have had many to lean on when the pain seems unbearable. Yet, many have confessed that they can not fully share the trial to the extent we as a family will have to experience it. There are certain aspects to family pain that must be experienced only by the family. Having said this, it is God alone who provides the grace reserved especially for the moments of our deepest agony. This grace enables us to go back to those who want to be our pillars of support and declare, enough, it's settled. I will go through with this because it is from God and necessary for God to achieve what he has in mind..

If God has made your cup sweet, drink it with grace.; If he has made it bitter; drink it in communion with him. -Oswald Chambers (1874–1917)